


David ‘n Stevie: Rescue Rangers

by NeelyO



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Best Friends, David Rose is a Good Person, Fluff, Gen, Picnics, Post-Canon, Stevie Budd is the best, baby squirrels are called kits, this is pretty soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25584313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeelyO/pseuds/NeelyO
Summary: David & Stevie take a picnic down to the creek. David learns something about Stevie that he didn't know before. It isn't as surprising as he originally thought.
Relationships: Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 46
Kudos: 55
Collections: The Unkindravens Birthday Collection





	David ‘n Stevie: Rescue Rangers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unkindravens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unkindravens/gifts).



> Happy, happy birthday, unkindravens! I'm so grateful to call you my friend. This is a weird time to be having a birthday, for so many reasons. I gave you whump before. Now I'm giving you some fluff.
> 
> Thank you to all my cheerleaders--you know who you are. To popfly for the idea on the ending. And to my beta who makes everything better, DisgruntledPelican.

“Do these feet look like they have  _ ever _ seen the inside of  _ rented _ shoes? No need to answer that.” David carefully made his way down the footpath toward the creek. Why Stevie would even bother to ask if he wanted to go to the new bowling alley in Elm Grove was beyond him, truly.

“I’m just saying that we both know there isn’t much  _ to do _ around here—this opening is a big deal!” David could hear Stevie’s frustration, but refused to give in. He was never going bowling in Elm Grove. Full stop. He continued to carefully place his feet on the path, avoiding the shady muddy spots and staying out of the tall grass on either side.

“We  _ are  _ doing something! Look at us! Taking our books and our lunch  _ outside _ in the  _ fresh air _ when we could have much more easily and comfortably stayed at the cottage in the backyard….”

“Stop. Nope. It was my turn to choose our Best Friend Activity, and this is it. So deal. We have almost as much cheese as Patrick brought along when he proposed to you. You’ll be fine.”

David  _ hmphed _ and forged on behind Stevie. It was true that the last time when it was his turn to choose their activity, they had spent the afternoon online pulling photos from all the new fashion house collections for David’s dream mood boards. David reminded himself of how patient Stevie had been printing everything and cutting pictures very carefully. He decided he would remain restrained...for now.

He schooled his voice carefully, aiming for concern with no whining. “We must be nearly to your perfect spot? The picnic basket must be getting heavy. And aren’t you getting warm with your flannel still on, Stevie?” Those were all reasonable questions. Surely she wouldn’t be able to hear how hungry he was getting.

“You’re one to talk, David. I’ll be able to take off my flannel, but that sweater must be killing you about now.”

“Ha, I’ll have you know this is a Tom Ford silk-cotton t-shirt and it is breathing very nicely, thank you.” Plus, David assumed they’d be off the path and out of the direct sun soon. Hopefully.

Stevie stopped suddenly, which brought David up short. 

“What’s happening, why are you stopped?” David immediately jumped to all the worst possible scenarios, and tried to remember if he’d told Patrick he loved him when he drove away that morning to visit his parents.

“David, stop being dramatic, and be quiet. Look, just there, under that tree. Do you see the baby squirrel?”

David squinted, removed his sunglasses, and took a step off the path. He did, in fact, see the baby squirrel. It was very tiny, with fur about the same color as the dirt it was laying in. 

“What should we do? Is it dead? Do we need to bury it?” David had about 17 other questions related to this current situation, at least three of which had to do with when they would get to unpack the picnic basket. He was ready for lunch.

David watched as Stevie put down the basket and made her way slowly over toward the baby. She didn’t touch it, but looked around appraisingly.

“Okay,” Stevie said quietly, “we have to protect this kit and see if its mom comes back for it. Kits—baby squirrels—grow up best with their moms, so we’ll wait about four hours. If she doesn’t return for it then we’ll have to call the wildlife rehabilitators at the Wildlife Centre.”

David looked at Stevie, trying to comprehend  _ anything _ that she was saying. Stevie gave him a pointed look in response.

“What?”

“How do you know what to do to help a baby squirrel that is abandoned and probably injured or potentially dead on the side of the footpath, Stevie?” David choked his question out amidst his disbelief.

“The squirrel is not dead, David. And I grew up around this kind of thing. My Aunt Maureen volunteered with the Canadian Raptor Conservancy for years, and I went with her to a lot of her volunteer shifts. The Saw-Whet Owls were always my favorites.”

David took a beat before replying. “Squirrels are not owls, Stevie.”

“Oh for God’s sake, David—I know that! She also took care of any other animals or birds that she found - tons of rabbits, a Meadow Jumping Mouse or two, and all sorts of birds, including a gorgeous Indigo Bunting she named Roger. You would have liked him. His summer coloring was identical to Patrick’s.”

“Pale white with a tinge of pink when flustered?”

“No, blue. The Indigo Bunting is blue.” Stevie rolled her eyes and turned back to the squirrel. “Okay, here’s what we need to do...”

David spent the next several minutes amazed by the commanding and detailed way Stevie gave him directions to unpack their picnic basket, undo and arrange their blanket inside it, and place it under the tree right next to the baby squirrel. He was also completely confused about where this competent wildlife rescue person had come from.

Before he realized it, Stevie removed her flannel, stuffed it into the basket, and then very carefully lifted up the tiny baby—who was now awake, according to Stevie. She placed it into the nest they had created and stepped away. 

“Now we wait.” Her voice was soft, and her eyes were peeled for any sign of the mother squirrel.

David hesitated, unsure if it was okay to ask. But he just had to. “Can we eat lunch while we wait, do you think? Now that all the food is out of the basket…” Stevie didn’t even let him finish.

“Yes, David, let’s eat.” She had told him to put all the food and other picnic items in a shady spot on the other side of the path from where the baby squirrel—the “kit”—was now relaxed in their picnic basket. David bit his tongue to keep from complaining about having to sit in the grass, thanking all the gods that he had worn his oldest pair of jeans for this activity, and looking very carefully for beetles and spiders before gingerly lowering himself all the way down. 

As they arranged the bread, cheese, and fruit and prepared to eat, Stevie looked over at David and smiled. Her sincere smile, that he had only seen a few times, most recently on his wedding day, if he recalled correctly.

“Thanks for not making a big deal about having to give up the blanket, David. And for agreeing to wait for the kit’s mom to show back up. I can’t tell you the number of times our plans were thrown when Aunt Maureen would find some animal or bird that needed care. We even missed my grade five end-of-year party because she refused to leave the side of an asshole Canadian Goose.”

David didn’t interrupt, as it seemed his best friend had more to say. 

“When I was little, I never got to have a dog or a cat of my own, and the wildlife didn’t begin to make up for it. But as I got older and got to help Maureen more, helping the animals started to mean something to me. All the hurt or lost animals that just needed a little time, a little care. I’m so busy working now. I’m never out like this, so this is the first time in a long time I’ve had the chance to help anything.”

Stevie took a breath then and ran her hands through her hair, pulling the dark strands off her neck. The sun was moving and their shade was going away, and David could tell she was warm, even having given up her flannel to the baby squirrel.

“Well, I never had any pets growing up either, you know. Just one more thing we have in common. I’m afraid that will change soon, though, since I can’t get Patrick to stop looking at the dog rescue sites on his phone. It’s like puppy porn or something. Maybe you can come help us when we bring the mongrel home.”

Stevie laughed brightly, “David Rose, I can hardly  _ wait _ to see you with a dog. I would be delighted to help out.”

David looked across the path for the millionth time and wished the mother squirrel would hurry back already. Attempting to sound disinterested, David’s questions gave him away when he asked, “Do we need to feed the baby—the kit? There are some extra crackers. Or maybe give it some water? It’s gotten so warm out.”

“No, David, we don’t need to share any of our lunch. It’s better and safer to not give the squirrel anything. Luckily for you we won’t have it around long enough to worry about that, or to massage its genitals to help it pee.”

“Oh my god,” David shuddered, making Stevie cackle. 

A couple more hours passed with no sign of the mother squirrel. Stevie and David had caught up on all the town gossip, had played a game of Never Have I Ever with what was left in their water bottles (David promised himself to never do that again without alcohol), and had texted with both Alexis and Patrick. He was about to ask Stevie what they needed to do next, when an adult squirrel came scampering down the tree directly across from where they were sitting. They both went silent and still.

They watched as the mother squirrel came down onto the ground, nose moving quickly. She stopped and stood up on her hind legs, sniffing toward the picnic basket. In what seemed like the blink of an eye she climbed up the side, down in, and then was back out, the kit safely held in her mouth by its scruff. 

Without another glance around the mother squirrel was up the tree and out of sight. David and Stevie sat unmoving for what seemed like a long time. “So that was the mother squirrel, then?” asked David, finally able to speak. 

“Yeah. Yeah it was,” Stevie answered. 

“I wonder what took her so long to get here?” David mused, almost to himself.

“I guess we’ll never know.” Stevie stood up, stretched tall, and started across the path to grab the basket. David had already made sure all their things were basically ready to go, so it only took a moment to pack everything up and start heading back toward town.

They walked in companionable silence, each with their own thoughts. David bumped his shoulder against Stevie’s side, causing her to look up at him. “Good job out there today, saving that baby...kit. You were amazing.”

“Ugh, David, honestly. Enough! Or next time I  _ will _ make you massage its genitals.” David could see the barest quirk of a smile as she trudged up ahead of him.

It shouldn’t surprise him, Stevie saving wild animals when she was younger, and then saving that squirrel today. After all, she helped save him not that many years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I did quite a bit of research on rescuing baby squirrels. I have been assured by unkindravens that everything Stevie did in the story is exactly right!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] David 'n Stevie: Rescue Rangers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153007) by [Amanita_Fierce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanita_Fierce/pseuds/Amanita_Fierce)




End file.
